"You don't know what you got..

 'til its gone...

Whether its a train going Bye...

Or MoM back to say Hi!!"

We live right by the train tracks now.. so going outside and watching the train go by is a frequent occurance. So frequent I guess that sometimes it passes by without care. However, What makes it all more fun is when we are outside and the conductor HoNkS the horn especially for us. The boys were just so cute out there today I had to get a couple of shots.

Gage loves waving, and saying "Bye, Bye.. Train"

Right after the train went by we left to take Lys and Kyra to meet up with Kyras mom for a turn playing at her house... They've been switching back and forth for the last week. Live it up I say! not much longer til you're in School! 

When we returned I thought we would take some time and wash the car. Ohhh the things I need to do to save a buck or two anymore. :) I can't complain though, The boys were HaPPy to help. And it was fun having their help :) 

Then we got the idea to wash the BoYs BiKeS... 

I love these shirts. And even moreso the Boys LOVE these shirts! Thank you, Mike and Maur :)

TaDaa!! SuCH cute boys!!

I hate my situation. These boys are so darling. I miss them when they are gone. Even though after my hike I knew I would be exhausted and didn't mind them getting attention elsewhere, Ohhh how I miss them.  Even when most days by the end of it I am spent and ready for them to sleep... I miss them. 

They spent Saturday to Sunday with Grandma Cathy, Gpa Rick, Christine, their Dad & Family... 

It blows my mind that we can't seem to..... work. Its so odd to me, really.

Some days I feel like I should win an academy award for acting like I am just fine, or for living. However I know I need to somewhat keep things together for my childrens sake.  And some days I just fall down. However, seem to somehow get back up. I would just like to stay UP. I have hated over the last several years dealing with Alyssa being gone every other weekend and swore it would never happen again. Not just for my sake because every parent knows a break is welcomed and deserved (that SOUNDS horrible. It only makes you appreciate them that much more) but for my childrens sake. They don't deserve being put in the middle and frankly when I was growing up and looking back now it would have broken my heart not doing things with BOTH parents, at the same time, all the time! I am fortunate enough to not know what this is like. And am so thankful to my parents for it. 

I almost don't know what to do with myself when the kids are gone. Its hard understanding what people do with their time. I think "Holy cow! I could be in such great shape.. I would work out all the time.. Read, clean.." do this.. or do that. How selfish of me. I really would like more time to do things for others. I do. Bake cookies for my neighbors... Stop by out of the blue to say Hi to someone, Mow a lawn... anything!  Is it just me or does the time we all used to spend doing that kind of stuff just not seem to be there??! Because I haven't even seen or been greeted by many of my neighbors. Are we all just too busy?? I swear I keep thinking things are going to slow down. They only speed up.  OR is it speeding especially fast for me because Im doing EVERYTHING it seems, ALONE?? 

 I seem to want to focus my attention and time on the kids. Doing fun things so they don't hate the situation that much more, or have time to REALLY think about it. 

I seem to be speaking (or thinking) so randomly, I know. 

I however do want to write how grateful I am for what I do have. There's not a day that goes by that I do not feel incredibly blessed. I am blessed having a good job to support myself and my kids.. alone (as well as I can anyway). I feel SOOO blessed that we are all healthy. I could not imagine putting that on the plate as well.  I think I would in fact kill over! I am so blessed with INCREDIBLE.. and I do mean this.. INCREDIBLE children. They are so sweet. They have such tender sides which I love so much! ALL of them. My Dad just called me and had mentioned how Weston and he were searching for his shoes and socks Saturday getting ready to go with the other grandparents when they finally found them Weston says "I just love you Grandpa.. and Grandma too". He frequently does this. I love it.  He is so aware of his situations or what is going on he knows exactly when to say it. When I'm upset with him (or anything) he'll say it.  He will say it when someone does something nice... or when he feels like someone needs to hear it. Its amazing how smart and tender he is. With everything. 

Gage.. this boy never stops repeating EVERYTHING. He has become SUCH a good talker! He has known how to count to 10 for a couple weeks now. Before 22 months. AMAZING to me! Ohh I dont think they come more darling.

And Lys. We all know Lys. She is still my Angel. I don't know what I would do without her. Truly a blessing to have. She has put up with a lot.. haha and the girl still smiles.

I have put off doing some vinyl around the house because I am waiting for the BEST quotes to come to mind.. or to pop out at me. But one that I love which has a lot to do with how I feel or think so much during this time is..

"Never forget Gratitude, but what will make or break your day is your Attitude" .

 -MLSJ